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                                     Themes from The Trial
The Trial was a light-hearted dig at our lecturers presented at the end of the last term of       Chemistry IV, consisting of satirical poems / songs focussed on individual staff members.     
 
A very successful repeat of this show was presented by the Reunion 2016 attendees after the banquet in the St. Trinnean's Room on Saturday 15th October. The video is available for viewing on this site. The names of the 2016 presenters have been added below (in brackets) under the name of the 'accused'.

                                                Themes from The Trial                                             1966 Author           

 

MOWBRAY RITCHIE             (Mulberry Bush)                                                                                   Combination

                                               

   (David Horne)                      Here we go round the Mowbray bush, Mowbray bush, Mowbray bush

                                                 Here we go round the Mowbray bush

                                                In a very unsteady state!

                                                                                                                                                               

 

PETER SYKES                        (Tears)                                                                                                  Eric Pryde

                                               

 (Mike Senior)                        Chairs will be our only conformation,

                                                Boats simple or skew just will not do,

                                                They’re present in so small a concentration,

                                                For the Bowsprit hydrogens are so close together,

                                                Mono substituted cycle hexanes,

                                                They prefer the equatorial isomer,

                                                Di-substituted rings are more complicated things,

                                                But, the Chair’s the form that they prefer.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

NEIL CAMPBELL                   (Those foolish things)                                                                           Eric Pryde

                                               

  (Garth Thomson)                 Plus fours of harris tweed that look so shocking

                                                A very elegant length of woollen stocking

                                                The sight of naphthalene rings

                                                These foolish things remind us of you.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

ARNOLD READ                     (They can't take that away from me)                                                   Eric Pryde

                                               

  (Ian Mason)                          I’m Dr. Arnold Read,                                                                               

                                                No matter what’s agreed,

                                                I’ve got my Ph.D.,

                                                No!  No! they can’t take that away from me.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

ARNOLD BEEVERS               (Twinkle, Twinkle)                                                                                 Eric Pryde

                                               

  (Howard Everett)                 Twinkle twinkle little star

                                                How I wonder what you are

                                                For you have five points I see

                                                And I know that cannot be

                                                You must be point group 33

                                                A new system of symmetry.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

BILL DOYLE                           (Hello Dolly)                                                                                             Bryan (?)

                                                

 (All Table 2 - Lindsay Sawyer, John Bone, Jenny Nicholson, and Howard Everett)                           

 

                                                Hello Doyly, We’re Chem IV Doyly

                                                It’s so nice to see you there where you belong

                                                Ligand fields Doyly, Borazole Doyle.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

KEN LAWLEY                        (Tom Dooley)                                                                                            Anon.

                                               

 (All Table 2)                          Hang up your chalk, Ken Lawley,

                                                You’ve gone a bit too far

                                                So get your localised system

                                                Drowned in some local bar.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

MIKE TURNER                       I belong to Glasgow)                                                                        Lindsay Sawyer

                                               

  (All Table 2)                          I belong to Gala                                                                     

                                                Dear old Gala toon

                                                Since I hae come to live there

                                                It’s been going doon and doon

                                                Ah wisna even the Braw Lad

                                                Cos I was about eight feet

                                                But when I turn out for the toon

                                                On a Saturday

                                                Ye’ll ken they’ll aye get beat.

                                                                                                                                                               

​

MIKE PALMER                       (Daddy wouldn’t buy me a bow-wow)                                               Bryan (?)

                                               

  (All Table 2)                          SRC won’t buy me an NMR

                                                200 Mc/s is what I’m after

                                                They’ve offered me a cat

                                                But where CAN I put that

                                                I want a Mk 3 NMR

                                                See what I mean?

                                                                                                                                                               

 

JOHN KNOX                          (Favourite Things)                                                                                Eric Pryde 

                                               

 (All Table 2)                          G.C. thermodynamic

                                                Functions, Gibbs-Duhem, solutions ionic

                                                Enthalpy, Entropy, ideal mixings

                                               These are a few of his favourite things.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

BOB GOULD                          (I love to keep a-wandering)                                                               Anon.

                                               

 (Ian Shannon)                       He loves to keep us wondering

                                                About MO and VB.

                                                But sandwiches have some bonding

                                                Though it be N.B.G.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

SIR EDMUND HIRST            (Sugar in the morning)                                                                         Anon

                                               

 (Colin Whitehead?)               Sugar in the morning

                                                Sugar in the evening

                                                Sugar at coffee time

                                                You’ve been the king of sugars

                                                Now, for a long long time.

                                                                                                                                                               .

 

DAVID 'DAI' REES                 (T.V. Advert for Lee’s Macaroon Bars.)                                           Eric Pryde

                                               

 (Colin Whitehead)                 Rees Rees less if you please

                                                Of random amylopectin trees

                                                Of methylated arabinose

                                                6-sulfonated L-galactose.

                                                                                                                                                               

 

DUNCAN TAYLOR                 (On top of Old Smoky)                                                                        Anon.                                                     

 (Stu Moody)                          This pipe is so smoky

                                                It’s broken a bit

                                                It’s mended with rubber

                                                And Low’s copied it.

                                                                                                                                                   

​

FINALE                                  (Christopher Robin)                                                                            Sue ‘n’ Margaret

                                               

 (Angela Palmer)                   All of us working as hard as can be

                                                Hoping you’ll give us first class degree

                                                Hush, hush, whisper who dares,

                                                All of Chem IV are saying their prayers

 

                                                For four long years we’ve tried to see

                                                The wonders and mysteries of chemistry

                                                Now, at last, the final fling

                                                We’ll show you all we don’t know a thing.

                                                                                                                                                                .

 VOTE OFTHANKS:                (Given by Stu Moody).

                                                                                                ==========

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